This past week, I was afflicted with an upper respiratory infection which filled my lungs with mucus and bacteria. It was hard to breathe, and I was primarily bed-ridden.
Due to the pandemic and the fact I spent a week in the hospital a year ago, I knew exactly what to do (checklist: soup, Netflix, medication, books, sleep) to allow myself to heal physically.
My brain would not take a break, however.
In between my painful chest coughs spewing up yellow phlegm and waking up with chills in the middle of the night, I thought back to other times in my life when I have been this ill (there are only a handful).
First of all, why am I sick? Is there some sort of message that is coming with this affliction? The unraveling of my health seems to be happening more frequently.
Does my poor health have something to do with aging? Am I unhealthier than I was before? Are we prone to fall ill more frequently these days?
Most importantly, what is the point of enduring all this pain when suffering seems to have no rhyme or reason?
Over the past 18 months, I have read over a hundred books, participated in numerous global conferences on mental health and written about my own spiritual journey on this blog.
Want a status update on my search for ethical self-actualization*?
* I define ethical self-actualization as the ability to achieve your highest personal potential without harming yourself, the environment and the rest of humanity.
Answer: Still haven't got a clue, but I am going to keep searching and learning.
All I can say is that we should treat every day as precious. That means being around the people you enjoy, working in a profession you appreciate and ultimately feeling that you have been true to yourself.
I know I do not miss presenting a mask to the world; one that allowed me to only show a certain side of myself. I know it feels better to tell things as they are. At least I know my thoughts and my actions are my own.
Whatever happens on my journey, I am thankful for the courage required to step away from an ordinary life and make the conscious decision to explore an alternative existence.
No regrets.
Explore your joy.
While you are exploring, please join my journey on my socials, available using the Linktree link below:
That way you will never miss out on the musings.
Until next week.